Rachel and I were talking in the car a few days ago about our favorite moments. As I begin to sift through the rolodex of memories of the past year I'm realizing that a lot of them actually involved me going solo. Long runs. Exploring Grand Rapids, coffee shops, restaurants and Redux.
"A lot of my mine were times spent alone," I relay after thinking on it.
"What do you like to do by yourself though?"
"Explore."
And today is one card in the rolodex that is going to be underlined. Maybe highlighted with a gold star on the dog-eared corner. I'm sitting in Las Olas in a little town called "Cardiff by the Sea". The clouds have burned away and the sun is casting shadows onto the blue and tan tiled table. My shadow on the white-ish grey stuccoed call of the patio. It smells of salsa and corn. I have a blended margarita -delish. I can see the endless ocean to my right, where the surf is crashing into the shore. I know this, although I cannot see the sand, because I was just there. Sitting in the sand reading Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. Her writing is beautiful, some quotes are sure to follow.
I ordered veggie enchiladas with pinto beans and rice. The corn torillas are thick and delicious, covered in salsa verde. The margarita is smooth, cold. Books, sand ocean, mexican, margaritas. sun. Could this evening be any more perfect? The woman in the leopard print top is waiting for her daughter and son-in-law to celebrate her birthday, birthdays are always cause for celebration right? And they just brought out a to-go container that's made out of paper instead of styrofoam. I might as well just die because my life is complete. I think the only thing that could make this moment better would be if some cute surfer took me out on the waves, which I would dominate because I would be a natural on the board, then possibly end it off with a salty lip-lock...but that might put things over the edge.
I feel exhilarated. Refreshed. Full and content. It always seems like dining alone is weird. Uncomfortable and awkward. Maybe even slightly pathetic. But I am loving if. After today, I'd do it again in a second. Am I crazy? We are created for community and I cannot think of anything that makes me more satisfied than having great conversations and quality time with people. Other than days like today. I feel pretty satisfied right now. I love being alone. I really do. There's something free about being alone. Finding new things by yourself. It's like an adventure. It's more risky. More free. I think I'll do it again soon.
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