-me.

More than a litany of 'wisdom', can a poignant, timely question reorder and illuminate.

[I know this to be true, because of you.  Thanks you.]

Christmas, Kind Of.

Sufjan Stevens, Songs for Christmas.  It beats out the Mariah Carey Christmas album of my youth, I must admit.

There's one track that plays all year for me however.  [not from Mariah's album, just to be clear...] I believe it became my 2010 theme song. [or was it 2009?]  As you can see, the only thing I'm certain of is that it's beautiful and that once upon a time I listened to it a lot.  It probably has a post dedicated to it already.  But, I'd say it deserves another one. 

Listen.

If there was an all year song from Mariah though, it'd easily be this one.

Friendly Exile.

I spoke with a dear friend this evening.  Well, actually, it wasn't really a spoken conversation.  We were typing.  The goodness had was not encumbered by this inferior form of communication thankfully.  With her, it all started as a short lived roommate affair. The brevity of the season could not stifle the deep connection that happens so easily between kindred hearts, however.  Nor can miles and miles, or days upon weeks, affect the beauty of our friendship. It's rare to find a friend such as this.  And I love it.
Her spirit is like a breath of fresh air.  She's got a fiery sass about her.  Not of the offensive sort, but of the sort that's snappy like the bite of ginger and full of passion and zeal.  She's kind and genuine.  She loves the Lord.  O, how she does.  She never ceases to encourage this in my own life, simply due to the way she lives hers.

The beautiful face recently moved home too.  Shared musings abound.  She shared what the Lord has been doing in her in recent days.  Of refocusing her desires to match her Maker's.  I remember giggling long into the night in our little upstairs nook.  Laughter mingled with serious contemplation of our desires for adventure and big things.  Adventure can become an addiction, big things a vice, even if they are adventures under the banner of 'mission'.  She reminded me tonight that we are required to die to ourselves again and again.  That perhaps even a yearning for familiar community, having credentials or doing something radical-things that are 'good'-could turn out to defame the Lord.  Fail to give Him glory because of wrong motives.  Motives that are selfish.  It's not about me.

It's something I need to continually remind myself, especially now.  It's not about me.

Jeremiah 29:4-7
"Thus says the LORD of hosts, the god of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon:  Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce.  Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease.  But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare."

When I read this my heart sank.  Lord, are you telling me that I need to just take root here?  At home?  Is this a sign that you want me to settle into this place for good?
And then I realized, that just because I'm reading through Jeremiah and read this doesn't mean God is telling me to start tilling up the back yard and birthing hoards of babies.  Whew.
But there is something to be learned here.  Building a house feels pretty permanent.  As does establishing a family.  And not only is permanence a requirement for these things, but also focused energies.  Gardening is hard work.  If you want to eat some produce, there's a lot of tending involved.  Planting. Weeding.  Watering.  Gathering.  If you take off for a week or two, if you aren't present with your garden, no goodies for you come fall.

So maybe I'm just taking out of this what I want...but it's sounding a bit like, "bloom where you are planted."  Even in the midst of exile.  Even when you are an alien.  Be present.  Focus your energies on what is in front of you.  Your gardens, your children, your cities. 

Jeremiah 29:10...14
"For thus says the LORD: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place...I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."

My heart feels a little bit like it's in exile truth be told.  I find myself longing for the end of these seventy years.  How often do we trudge through the present, missing the little bits of light scattered to our left and our right, blinded by what looks to be so bright in the distance?

There is a point when the exile will be complete.  And He will bring us back.  He doesn't call his people to get new plates and a driver's license in Babylon.  They aren't commanded to take up legal residency.  Because they are still in exile.  But He calls them to take up figurative residency.  To invest.  To plant, weed, water and gather.  To be a people invested.  To yes, bloom where they are planted. 

To me and my beautiful kindred heart, strangely enough, moving home feels like leaving.  But may we flourish here, you and me.  May the Lord be glorified by our faithfulness.  In the letting go of our simply waiting until our seventy years is passed and the putting on the yoke of His promises.

"Plans for wholeness and not for evil" Jeremiah 29:11

May our fingernails be filled with dark soil.  Our backs sore with labor.  Not for our glory but for Yours O, Lord. 

For turning your ever-lovin' eyes upward, beautiful one, I am most thankful.

Pilot Me.

Josh Garrels.  Favorite.  Hands down.  New album- Love, War & The Sea -best yet.
I've been listening to it almost non-stop this fall.  Along with Ben Howard, who has already made an appearance here.  I guess Mr. Garrels has as well come to think of it.  Like I said, non-stop. For several months.  It only makes sense that you'll hear about it over and over again because I'm playing it over and over and over again.

This song tickled me especially today however.  I think it was just the use of the word, 'pilot' in this context.  I love the way it sounds.  Pilot me.  As if I am a large, wooden, clumsy ship, cutting my way through dark massive waves, in need of someone to take the wheel. O wait, that's not a metaphor.  All those things are true... 
My favorite definition of pilot as a verb: to act as pilot on, in, or over.  Again, I like the way it sounds.  On.  In.  or Over.  Steer.  Guide.  Take charge of. 

Pilot Me

I will arise and follow you over
Savior please, pilot me

Over the waves and through every sorrow
Savior please, pilot me

When I have no more strength left to follow
Fall on my knees, pilot me

May your sun rise and lead me on
Over the sea’s, savior pilot me

O’ Lord

You can listen to it too.
The whole album in fact.  It's FREE.  And really, really, really fantastic.

Re-work-ed.

On my list of things to do in the next five years:

Take a pottery class.  

I had a chance to throw once or twice in my pottery class at the classy establishment where I gained my high school diploma.  The place which boasts of one, count it one, long hallway.  Lined of course with some gorgeously aged yellow and sea foam tiles.  The countless hours spent in the art room were wonderful though.  And using the pottery wheel near the top. There's something that seems very 'zen' about the whole process.  Working a lump of cool wet clay into something.  The constant steady whir of the wheel.  It's very tactile.  Creative and productive.  And after reading Jeremiah eighteen I think it goes beyond zen and moves into 'this is an echo of truth, so therefore it's good'.

1The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: 2 “Arise, and go down to qthe potter's house, and there I will let you hear my words.” 3 So I went down to rthe potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. 4 And the vessel he was making of clay was sspoiled in the potter's hand, and the reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.

5 Then the word of the Lord came to me: 6 “O house of Israel, ucan I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. vBehold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.

Rework me Lord.
Not as it seems good to me.
But as it seems good to you.

Really Small, Really.

Psalm thirty-seven.

3 Trust in the Lord, and do good;

adwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.2

4 bDelight yourself in the Lord,

and he will cgive you the desires of your heart.

5 dCommit your way to the Lord;

ztrust in him, and he will act.

6 eHe will bring forth your righteousness as the light,

and your justice as fthe noonday.

I was greeted with a sunrise this morning on my way into work.  Pastels.  Fiery yellow-orange. A purple line behind the trees.
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn...
My memory didn't bring the preceding verses to mind however.  I'm glad I looked it up.  On a normal day, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of righteousness shining out of this here soul.  I certainly, "don't have a righteousness of my own..." [Phil. 3:9].  But the good news is that HE will bring forth righteousness as with fresh morning light.  "...not having a righteousness of my own that comes through the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith..." [Phil. 3:9] 
I love that I'm not responsible for conjuring up this righteousness.
And yet, perhaps I am left with the harder work.  Befriending faithfulness.  Delighting in the Lord. Doing good. Committing my stubborn ways to Him. Trusting in Him. Letting go so that He will have room to act. It being the harder not because of its level of difficulty but because of my lack.  O, this relationship.  Such a beautiful tension, a seeming contradiction.  There is something asked of me.  Something required.  Something simple when positioned with things large and lofty like Grace and Salvation.  And yet, even in this requirement, I find myself carried.  Lit up like the clouds hanging above bare trees. 
It's a good reminder. 
And makes me want to commit and trust and delight all the more fervently, no matter the smallness of even my greatest zeal. 

 

A Good Hurt.

It's always interesting where God takes you.

I read Ecclesiastes because of Knowing God's chapter on God's wisdom.  I finished and didn't know what to read next, so I just kept going.  Song of Solomon.  A quick and beautiful read, thought, 'what the heck, let's keep this train rolling' and realized I have read the beginning of Isaiah several times recently, never finishing.  Instead of tackling that goal, I just skipped it-naturally-and started Jeremiah.
o. my. stars.  

My heart ached while I read the words God gave to Jeremiah to speak.  It was an ache of two parts.  Of deep sorrow and remorse and simultaneously of amazement and thankfulness that's so incredible it hurts.  You'll see what I mean in Jeremiah three...

 11 And the Lord said to me, x“Faithless Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah. 12 Go, and proclaim these words toward ythe north, and say,

z“‘Return, faithless Israel,

declares the Lord.

I will not look on you in anger,

for aI am merciful,

declares the Lord;

bI will not be angry forever.

13 cOnly acknowledge your guilt,

that you rebelled against the Lord your God

and scattered your favors among foreigners under devery green tree,

and that you have not obeyed my voice,

declares the Lord.

14 eReturn, O faithless children,

declares the Lord;

ffor I am your master;

I will take you, one from a city and two from a family,

and I will bring you to Zion.

15 “‘And gI will give you shepherds after my own heart, hwho will feed you with knowledge and understanding. 16 And when you have multiplied and been fruitful in the land, in those days, declares the Lord, they shall no more say, “The ark of the covenant of the Lord.” It shall not come to mind or be remembered or missed; it shall not be made again. 17 At that time Jerusalem shall be called the throne of the Lord, iand all nations shall gather to it, jto the presence of the Lord in Jerusalem, and they shall no more stubbornly follow their own evil heart. 18 kIn those days the house of Judah shall join the house of Israel, and together they shall come from the land lof the north to mthe land that I gave your fathers for a heritage.

19 “‘I said,

How I would set you among my sons,

and give you a pleasant land,

a heritage most beautiful of all nations.

And I thought you would ncall me, My Father,

and would not turn from following me.

20 oSurely, as a treacherous wife leaves her husband,

so have you been treacherous to me, O house of Israel,

declares the Lord.’”

21 A voice on the pbare heights is heard,

qthe weeping and pleading of Israel's sons

because they have perverted their way;

they have forgotten the Lord their God.

22 r“Return, O faithless sons;

sI will heal your faithlessness.”

“Behold, we come to you,

for you are the Lord our God.

23 Truly tthe hills are a delusion,

the orgies2 on the mountains.

uTruly in the Lord our God

is the salvation of Israel.

24 “But from our youth the shameful thing has devoured all for which our fathers labored, their flocks and their herds, their sons and their daughters. 25 vLet us lie down in our shame, and let our dishonor cover us. For wwe have sinned against the Lord our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even to this day, and we have not obeyed the voice of the Lord our God.”


Beautiful.  Love and forgiveness.  How desperately He wants us.  He will overlook that we have scattered our love "under every green tree" if only we will come to Him.  Really come, confessing the foolishness of our choice for absence. 

I love that He dreams for us, with us.  'THIS is what it could be like'.  He daydreams for us in promises.  'THIS is what it could be like if you give up your 'less' life and come into more.  

He will give us "shepherds to feed us with knowledge and wisdom".  Enter JESUS.

Ezekiel 34:23...And oI will set up over them one shepherd, pmy servant David, and he shall feed them: he shall feed them and be their shepherd. 

John 10:11... fI am the good shepherd. The good shepherd glays down his life for the sheep.

He will "heal our unfaithfulness".

HE will heal OUR unfaithfulness.

What an incredible gift.

Pretty Words About Love.

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
At my heart you see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be...-Mumford and Sons, Sigh No More
SheSet me as a seal upon your heart,as a seal upon your arm,for love is strong as death,jealousy is fierce as the grave.It's flashes are flashes of fire,the very flame of the Lord.Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
SheI adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
SheI was a wall...then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace.-Songs of Solomon





There is no fear in love,but perfect love casts out fear.  For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.  
We love because he first loved us.  -1 John 4:18

Resuscitation In Progress.

re·viv·al  (r-vvl) n.

1.  a. The act or an instance of reviving.

     b. The condition of being revived.

2. A restoration to use, acceptance, activity, or vigor after a period of obscurity or quiescence.

3. A new presentation of an old play, movie, opera, ballet, or similar vehicle.

4.  a. A time of reawakened interest in religion.

      b. A meeting or series of meetings for the purpose of reawakening religious faith, often   characterized by impassioned preaching and public testimony. 

5. Law Renewal of validity or effect, as of a contract or judicial decision.

 I did a little research. To add some academic validity to this crazy thing I currently find myself in: a revival.  And by research I mean I typed revival into Google and clicked on the definition.  My old professors would be proud.  Prouder still of perhaps my favorite finding from the ever credible, Wikipedia:

 Revival may refer to:

• Resuscitation of a person

Did you know that there is a Harry Potter Wiki? Despite my amazement skirting the edge of deep concern for the population, it's quite interesting if you have the time and dork status to check it out I think you should. But Harry Potter, thankfully, has nothing to do with this recent revival.

Over the past few weeks, the thought, "Ooo.  I should write that on the blog..." has surfaced more times than I can shake a stick at...and more times than I have time to actually follow through with, unfortunately.   The fortunate news is that I'm still learning the lessons.  And the reason I've wanted to write them here is because they have impacted me and changed me in a way that demands sharing.  I found myself talking with my friend Amy, excitedly spewing out scripture that kept bubbling up...during our five second conversation, [which will be continued tonight much to my excitement] and felt surprised when I hung up.  I have this insatiable urge to just blurt things out.  Even if it's through g-chat to a dear friend in California.  Anyone who will listen.  Which is the way it should be.  Listen to what Jeremiah had to say about holding it in:

If I say, “I will not mention him,

or speak any more in his name,”

there is in my heart as it were a burning fire

shut up in my bones,

and I am weary with holding it in,

and I cannot.

 I'm not sure that my insides are ablaze, but I know I'm excited. 

One of the definitions talks about a 'reawakened interest in religion' through some good ol' meetins' and preachin'.  But I feel as though the other parts of the definition are able to better pin down what is currently going down. I'm being 'restored to use'! The 'use' being to rejoice in the goodness of the Lord!  To share His truths! After a period of obscurity and quiescence!  [which is an adjective describing being at rest; quiet; still; inactive or motionless...a word I find quite delightful now that I know its meaning...] And to use exclamation points while doing it!  Even the last one about law, it's a renewal of the validity of faith!  Which are often times hard things to put together in this day and age, but I'm feelin' it.

There is a resuscitation going on here people. 
And I couldn't be more electrified. 

You Better Eat Your Hebrews.

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.

let brotherly love continue...
do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers...
remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them...
and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body...
let marriage be held in honor among all...
keep your life free from love of money...
be content with what you have...
remember your leaders...

imitate their faith... 

do not be led away by diverse and strange teachings...

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

So we can confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper;

I will not fear;

what can man do to me?”

Jesus also suffered outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood.  Therefore let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured.  For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.  

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things.

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

bits from hebrews 12 and 13.
read the whole of the chapters because i did some cutting and pasting.  i'm pretty certain that's frowned upon.  so do my conscience a favor and just read it in it's entirety. thanks.