Here. Or There.

Remember all that talk about community? It's all over the place. I just spent the evening with my dear friend Laura. It's been months since I've seen her and if felt like not a day had passed. We stopped in JP's, grabbed some beverages and walked the sidewalks lining the cobblestone streets. We sat in the park on one of those slatted wooden benches with the decorative iron sides. It was so nice to hear about her life. To tell her about mine. A friend who I can be honest with. A friend who is a true friend. I missed her. We said our goodbyes to the ridiculous number of squirrels running around the park and wove our way through the neighborhoods talking about what it's like to be "big kids" now. It's weird but strangely exhilarating. I feel like I haven't really started yet, I'm working into being a big kid. I need to make a decision on whether to stay, or to go, before I can really embrace this non-student lifestyle. Through a big picture window we saw some college-ish aged guys and girls around a table in a flowery wallpapered living room. Community.

Before my blissful evening with my best dutch friend, I played Frisbee with my brother in the newly cut grass. I talked through the pros and cons of moving across the country, he listened, and then I asked him what he thought. As I talked through it, I decided. I'm going. Why not? If I don't like it I can always move back right?

And then I spent time with Laura in Holland. I've joked before about west Michigan, especially this area. Kids are born, grow up, and move in next to their parents, have kids, then they grow up and move in next door. After walking around with a kindred soul I see why. It's a great place. Holland is quaint and homey feeling. Like a well worn sweater. I liked how it fit. After our walk we sat on another bench under a glowing street light. Hope students, and older couples passed by, orange Gerber daisies blooming happily in a flower bed just past Laura. I sat there wanting to have a coffee date with Laura every week. I want to laugh and talk with her on Thursday nights, walking around Holland. I wanted that consistency and richness. I want to have a wallpapered kitchen and a dining room table trimmed with friends and good conversation.

And again. I don't know what I want. I can't even decide what to do this weekend. And I want someone to tell me what to do next. But here's the thing about being an adult that I'm realizing more and more-I call the shots. Bleh. It's kind of cool knowing I'm running the show [well, not really but you get the idea] and I absolutely abhor it at the same time.

So all of this to say just as I think I have peace. Just as I think I make a decision. I change my mind. One thing I do know is this, I'm blessed beyond belief. I was reminded yet again, of the gift of friendship. Laura is a gift. She is another invaluable piece of my community.

God, work this community, here, there, and everywhere, into something beautiful. Something strong and warm, comfortable and heavy, sewn together in order to wrap me tighter, tighter into you.