The air was thick in my throat as I made my way up Fountain. It felt heavy, pressing down on my skin. The dense clouds hung full above, their droplets palpable. The large billows covered the sun, muting the brightness of the fresh green leaves and new blades of grass. The sticky sweet scent of the flowering trees overwhelmed my nose, reminiscent of a purple scented marker from the sets they have in grade school-the fat ones with the wide felt tips. Between the flowery perfumes a wet, dusty smell-the smell of damp spring sidewalks and worms-filter through my nose.
The evening was ominous and beautiful at the same time. Bloated and anticipatory. Foreboding and full. It felt a lot like the future.
I'm overwhelmed with excitement at what the next few pages hold.
And I also stop.
mid-shampoo.
because I'm afraid.
My heart leaps at the thought of adventure. New people. New places.
My eyes water and my heart quickens. New people. New places.
Everything could change!
Everything could change...
Bring it on. I want to smell it even though it's too strong, too flowery. I want to carry the heavy air in my lungs. I want to live life to the brim. On the edge of overflowing. Even now, as I write this my pulse is beginning to beat a little faster. The air has since cooled and it is softly brushing across my cheeks, carrying that oddly comforting dusty wet scent with it. The sun is painting the sky peach behind the big green tree in our front yard. Ha. Wow. My pulse is slowing after typing those two sentences. Just take it in Jen. Take a big drink.
The breeze will cool, bringing refreshment. The sun will peak through the heavy clouds. There is a sunset ahead. Acknowledge the manifestation of something bigger in the small moments. Turn your focus Upward, keep your feet on the ground, pray for sun. And if it rains, throw your head back and laugh.
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