There's a lot of talk about church lately. I've been a part of numerous conversations, what is church? And there's this movement away from church. That church can be found anywhere. And I've agreed. I've had moments where I've resisted the formal idea of church-possibly because it's hip and cool [let's be honest], but partly because sometimes gathering with a bunch of strangers within four walls doesn't seem quite right.
I came back down to Grand Rapids for the first time in several months, my first stop a Sunday morning service. As I was driving I realized it had been awhile since I'd really been to church, let alone the place that came to feel like home while in college. I sat in the grey plastic chair next to my friends Katie and Dan, reading the white lyrics projected on the large cube screen, and I felt whole. I was simply passing air through my throat, moving my lips and tongue to create the shapes my eyes were reading, with hundreds of other people, and it was profound. Profound for many reasons, but connecting with God in a deeply personal way, and in a very communal way, at the same time was powerful.
As of late I question why things are. And if I can't find an answer I am resistant to its presence. But this Sunday morning I was reminded, once again, that I need to stop arguing and just accept the fact that it is good. The church is flawed. And I think I can "have church" while sharing a meal with friends. But I need this communal gathering. I need to gather with other people. I need to praise and admit my weaknesses in song. I need to sit next to other beating hearts and hear scripture. It keeps me connected to my Creator. No matter my arguments or my "but what about?" statements- it's good and I need it.
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