Despite Discontent

I have some advice.
It’s short and sweet:

Sometimes, your present stinks.
Just keep going.

Someone, somewhere probably expressed this same sentiment much more eloquently than I, but who needs eloquence when you’ve got honesty?

I’ve been wrestling with something for the last long while. And it goes a little something like this:
"God, WHAT do you want me to DO?!"
And the wrestling has more to do with the answer than the question I suppose.
Because the answer is most often this:




?

I trust God.
I know He has a plan.
I know that He will be faithful to carry it onto completion.
I know that He will withhold no good thing.
I [kind of] understand that I need to wait. Patiently.
I understand that the most important thing is my heart.
I understand that I can glorify Him in many different ways.
But.
I.
Would.
Just.
Like.
An.
ANSWER.

And I’ve been frustrated, to put it mildly, that I’m not hearing anything specific.
"I’m doing something wrong" is my obvious explanation.
Maybe I don’t really want to know?
But I DO. I honest to goodness want, not my will but yours be done.
Do I need to read more? Sit for hours more and just listen? Confess some unknown sin?
[and that could very well be the case]
I discovered however, despite my discontent, I just need to keep going.
Just keep listening.
Even when I feel like it’s a lost cause and I want to throw in the towel on this whole listening business.

Because,
God.
Shows.
Up.
I read and journaled recently despite all my whinny baby resistance.  And you know what?
I heard something.
I heard something that actually had nothing to do with what I was currently reading.
And that’s when you know it’s good.
Now, it wasn’t a laminated five year life plan, mind you.
BUT.
It was something.
Something that was good and I would have missed it, had I given up.

So, sometimes, you are frustrated.
You want to throw in the towel.
Your tired. And spent.
And your present stinks.

JUST
KEEP
GOING

Trust me on this one.