Anything But Monotonous.

I am wriggling in anticipation.
I can hardly wait to get to the exodus.
But first,
the plagues.

Blood for water.
Frogs.
Gnats.
Flies.
Dead Livestock.
Boils.
Ridiculously large hail.
Locusts.
Darkness.
The death of sons.

Do you think Moses and Aaron ever thought to themselves when they awoke in the morning,

“Well, off to the daily grind again.  I wonder what the plague is today? No matter, Pharaoh’s heart will still be hard.”

Okay, so probably not.  But it seems a little bit monotonous.  I feel calloused saying that.  I mean there were piles of stinking, dead frogs all over Egypt, people were so miserably covered in boils they couldn’t stand and a whole people group lost their first born son.

Perhaps monotonous is the wrong word choice.  ?

I just wonder what was going through Moses' and Aaron’s heads amidst all of this.
This little break in the ‘monotony’ in which we hear Moses’ words and perhaps a glimpse into his independent thought, is great.

Moses said to him, “As soon as I have gone out of the city, I will stretch out my hand to the LORD.  The thunder will cease, and there will be no more hail, so that you may know that the earth is the LORD’s. But as for you and your servants, I know that you do not yet fear the LORD God.” Exodus 9:29-30

 From what I can gather, as God is introducing the ‘hail round’, He didn’t specifically tell Moses:

 a) to say this to Pharaoh [like He usually does] or b) that He would again harden Pharaohs’s heart [like He usually does].

I do love what He does tell Moses to say though.  Basically, He wants Moses to relay the message that, as Creator, He could have crushed Pharaoh long ago and avoided this whole 'dog and pony show'.  But then, Pharaoh wouldn’t be around to be brought to his knees by the all powerful God.

"I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth.” -God.  Exodus 9:16

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Pharaoh.  Bam.

But let’s revisit this fear thing Moses talked about.  Moses could smell Pharaoh’s fear.  But it was fear of the troublesome hail and wanting to be rid of it.  Not fear of God, which the sad sac tried to convince Moses was what he was really smelling.  Interestingly enough however, this fear is being stirred up in a few in the land.

Then whoever feared the word of the LORD among the servants of Pharaoh hurried his slaves and his livestock into the houses... Exodus 9:20

They were most definitely scared shitless, and understandably so, just recovering form a severe case of body blisters. But I think their fear can be translated into something other than just knocking knees and shaking hands.  They TRUSTED that God was going to do what He said.  They certainly had evidence in their empty fields and mounds of rotting amphibians stacked everywhere.  Their fear, I think, was motivated not so much by weather in the form of hail, but by the fact that they KNEW the hail was coming.

So I guess what I’m saying is that fear is linked to trust.
? Hm.  Interesting.

And I’m also saying that I love this story.
...I have a strange feeling I may have mentioned that before....

Thanks, Frank.

Thanks for the reminder ol' blue eyes... 

The best is yet to come.

-Frank Sinatra.

...And in many, many more ways than the old romantic alluded to in his lyrics.  Double best.

Lauryn Hill. Mmmmhm.

"See what we now know is nothing compared
to the love that was shown when our lives were spared
and tell him...

Tell Him I need Him.

Tell Him I love Him"

-Lauryn Hill, Tell Him



¹⁶ By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. ¹⁷ But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? ¹⁸ Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
¹⁹ By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; ²⁰ for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 
-John, Chapter 3

Saved From The Bend.

You want to save us, God.
From the very beginning when we walked away.
And you’ve been saving us ever since.

You saved us from our self-inflicted pain, covering with garments our ugly, naked shame.

You saved us from oppression, under a heavy hand, that we could enter through the sea into the promised land.

You saved us from the belly, the belly of the whale, when we ignored your guidance, giving grace despite how we fail.

You saved us from the death, a life apart from you, you spilled your blood that we, that I, might begin life anew.

You’ve rescued us more times than I can recount.
I need to be reminded.
Now.  And again and again.
May it remind me of your incredible love, this ever saving plan.
Help me to remember, when I start to bend this truth.
Crushing us under your thumb, it is not your real intent.
Those times I feel you say, as a friend just put to words-
“Just pick up your damn cross already, it’s really not that hard.”
Help me hear and see and know, that those angry words don’t fit.
They just don’t match with this awe-some story you’ve been telling again and again.
God, you save us.

You save us when it’s our fault.

You save us when it’s not.

You save us left and right, in the morning, and in the dark night.

O, you want to save us.

And you have been, and you will.

This lovely loving truth, this our hope and stay, this, and not the bend, is what prompts me to obey.

Moses Wears Chuck Norris Pajamas 2.0.

Okay.  I have a correction to make.

I realized that I lied. There are TWO Pharaoh's involved in my last post. 
So the first ruler that threw Moses out is a different ruler than the one he appeals to on behalf of God.  This means Moses didn't really know the Pharaoh he was going to, and he wasn't the guy who kicked Moses out.

Shoot.  I really should go to seminary or something if I'm going to keep this up...
I've probably made mistakes in the past.  And will continue to.  So let this be a lesson to us, don't take my word for it, dig into the Word yourself.   

And I also realize that this title is a little confusing. Moses doesn't really appear to be round house kicking anyone in the face at this point.  He kind of looks like a wimp.  In reality I should have titled this post, "God Wears Chuck Norris Pajamas".  Except for that really doesn't work either.  Because God doesn't need pajamas.  And it would be comparing Chuck Norris to God, even if it's insinuating Chuck Norris is inferior, it still just isn't right. 

Again.  Seminary.  Something.  Oh my.

Moses Wears Chuck Norris Pajamas.

How does Moses do it?

He grows up in a culture that is not his own.  He must know this pretty clearly.  Because when he sees an Egyptian beating up his hebrew homeboy he kills him and buries him in the sand right then and there.
When Pharaoh gets word, he’s not too happy, seeing as this outsider killed one of his slaves.  So he kicks Moses out.

Moses goes on his way, settles elsewhere, gets himself a nice wife and a nice life.

And then God shows up.
In a bush.
nbd.

“Hey Moses.  It’s me the God of your father, and your father’s father, and his father’s father.  I wouldn’t come closer if I was you, my glory might be a little much for you.  And take your shoes off your shoes for while you’re at it.  This is holy ground your treading on.  So I’ve been hearing some things.  Hearing my people.  They are seriously bumming.  Beyond bumming, they are downright miserable.  I know what they are going through, and I don’t like it.  I’m going to rescue them.”

Moses is probably thinking-if he can even think at all while he’s standing barefoot in the presence of the Almighty God- “Wow, awesome.  No, really AWE-some.  The God of my father and my father’s father and his father’s father knows what’s going on with his chosen people. He’s hearing their laments and He’s gonna do something about their oppression.”

And then God drops the hammer,

“Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.” Exodus 3:10

I can just see Moses, open mouthed [again, if he’s not already drooling all over himself], finger in his ear, “Wait.  What did you say?”

“Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.” Exodus 3:10

“Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11

What he’s really saying is:
Sure I lived with him for awhile*, but he kicked me out.  Remember?  I killed someone.  I’m pretty sure he’s not going to welcome me back.
Oh, and let’s not forget that even if I were going in with a clean slate you are asking me to command he release all his slaves.  There are like, a lot of people.  If they leave, who’s going to do all the work?  Pharaoh?  I know* the guy, this is not going to go over well.
Who am I?

“B u t            I             w i l l               b e                  w i t h               y o u . . .”                  

Exodus 3:12

Moses.  Don’t worry about it.  I’ll be with you!
I imagine God smiling and giving Moses a comforting ‘buckaroo’ punch in the arm with a wink.  Except for Moses’ arm would probably disintegrate and if Moses looked to catch the wink his face wouldn't be just glowing it’s be burning or something, from the inside out.  Anyway...

Moses argues a bit more.  God, they’ll ask for your credentials.  God, they won’t believe me.  But God, I don’t speak so good.  I ain’t the man fer dis job.  Blah, blah, blah.
The great thing is that God gives Moses tangible solutions to these qualms.  Even though the 'being with' part should have been enough.

Finally Moses packs up the station wagon, er camels?, and heads back to Egypt.  I figure loading up and taking his staff along are Moses’ ways of saying, “Alright.  Well, I guess I’m in.” [Exodus 3:20]

And while Moses is on the way, God mentions one more small detail,

“Oh, yeah.  And I’m going to harden Pharaoh’s heart.  So do all the stuff I told you to do, and just know that it’s not going to do anything.  And then tell Pharaoh that he’s...well things are going to get nasty.  Hey...your knees are shaking...I’m going to take care of it, don’t worry!”

How does Moses do it?
With a name, a staff, some show and tell and his trusty side-kick Aaron?
Well that,
and                     GOD                     was                    WITH                     him!


If this story were on facebook I’d ‘like’ it.  Definitely.  Oooo, I can’t wait to unpack more...


*Addendum: I realized that I lied. There are TWO Pharaoh's involved here.  So the first ruler that threw Moses out is a different ruler than the one he appeals to on behalf of God.  This means Moses didn't really know the Pharaoh he was going to, and he wasn't the guy who kicked Moses out.  Shoot.  I really should go to seminary or something if I'm going to keep this up...

Healthy Habits.

It felt good to stretch my legs today.
Mostly because they are getting a little soft.  I can partly blame my flabby thighs on my Valentine.  He’s great with numbers.  Incredibly organized.  A bit ‘by the book’ sometimes, a little too ‘formulaic' for my taste, but you have to take the good with the bad eh?  We’ve been spending a lot of time together and he requires a lot of sedentary focused attention and well, if I ever become Mrs. Microsoft Excel, I had better find a clothing line flattering to pear shapes.

But this got me to thinking [the part about stretching my legs-not about my beau excel]  about habits. ‘Healthy' versus ‘Unhealthy'. From experience, I can’t have mostly healthy habits and squeak a few junk food type habits in, because the latter is a contagious disease.  Allow me to use two examples that show the snowball effect and the compound effect.

Example one:
On the food note, I eat pretty healthy according to most standards.  But I’ve been healthier.  This summer I started experimenting with baking more gluten free things.  Now, I can’t get enough chewy sugar laden treats. I'll take a peanut butter cookie over a mango these days. O, the horror!

Example two:
I taught myself to sleep on my back in high school because I heard it was better for your back. It took a long while, but I’ve been a back sleeper ever since.  Well, until I moved home. Maybe the sweets are to blame, but I started sleeping on my side again.  Now my back hurts consistently.  Even as I type this I am leaning to the left with my left shoulder dropping, my head cocked to the right and my legs crossed.  It’s a recipe for scoliosis!

These ridiculous examples to say, that while sucking cold winter air, I noticed a bigger issue.

When I’m doing healthy things, unhealthy things are wholly unappetizing.  When I’m doing unhealthy things, I only have 'eyes' for those dirty rascals. [Sorry Excel.] I know what I should do, and yet I don’t do it.  Because I’m being led astray by white sugar and sleeping in the fetal position.

Is this sounding slightly familiar to anyone else?

“For I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”
“For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep doing.”  -Paul, Romans 7

He says that when he works up the urge for something good, “evil lies close at hand.” [Evil looks surprisingly like dairy free no-bake cookies sometimes btw.] Can I get an amen?

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us RUN with PERSEVERANCE the race marked out for us.” -Hebrews 12:1

Running is a a habit that requires perseverance. It takes awhile to establish, speaking from experience.
This verse was running through my head too while running:

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” -Romans 12

I know I’ve been transformed.  But dang, it seems I have a lot of transforming left to do!  And how quickly I feel like I’ve lost a handle on my transformation and slip into spoonfuls of jif peanut butter, pride and bitterness with a side of couch potato.  I’ve heard a rumor that it takes 30 days to develop a habit.  I’m beginning to think that rumor is total bull.

I know I have to show a little perseverance. Show a little discipline.  Take an honest inventory. Root out those unhealthy habits. Fill the gaps with real good ones. Throw off the sin that so easily gets me all tangled up.  And it's not going to be easy.  But the grass really is greener on the other side.  I know this because I've frolicked in it from time to time.  So be gone you parasitic habits! I'm trading you in for better ones!

Oh, and I almost forgot something.  For those times when the evil close at hand is absolutely relentless...
The good news.

“Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

[drumroll please...]

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” -Paul, Romans 7

YES!  Saved by the Christ, yet again.  THANKS BE TO GOD.  For if it were just up to me, we’d be in trouble.  Probably drown in chocolate sauce and impatience or something equally terrible.

Psalm Writing.

As was pointed out to me by a friend recently: this blog has turned into a 'musical intermission' of sorts, for  actual writing.

I own that. Copying song lyrics.  Stealing quotes from better writers. Posting videos.  It’s been taking up a fair share of space here.

[Maybe it's better that way...?]

It’s not that I haven’t been writing.

In fact, I’m filling my journal at an alarming rate.  And I have more ‘drafts’ saved than ever before.  I even find scrall on scraps of paper in my purse or jammed between the pages of a current book.

[Which...has been Harry Potter. It stimulates imagination and creativity...?]

So 'tis not for lack of words, my friends, that you find yourself mostly listening to music when you visit.  The problem is:

I’ve been psalm writing.

At least that’s what I’ve decided to call it.

So why am I not sharing?

Have you read the psalms?!
That is like, bare-bones, show up to school and be forced to wear the liners of your snow boots all day because you forgot your shoes, kind of stuff.  It's like showing all your cards.  The kind of honesty I'm not really interested in sharing, to be honest.  Mostly because it would remove all my brooding mystery, which everybody knows is what you need, and partly because you'll probably think I'm a bit nutty.  Maybe even borderline insane.
BUT.
One thing I love about the psalms, is that no matter how shockingly vulnerable and lamenting they may be, they continue to praise a constant, loving and faithful God.
You can go on and on about how you are a worm and how you want to scrape your wounds with sharp pieces of broken pottery and in the next breath say, "yet I trust in your unfailing love". 
And that's what I want to do.
I hope and pray that my lips would be dripping with the truth of God.
Even if they are also dripping because I just tripped, and bit a hole through my lip.
Blood, mingled with promises like these in Psalm 46:

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in time of trouble.
Therefore we will not be afraid,
Though the earth gives way,
Though the mountains move into the heart of the sea,
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains tremble at it's swelling.
...There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God
...God is in the midst of her;
She shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
He utters his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our fortress.
....He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!"
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our fortress.

I was just reading about how old Zechariah doubts the ability of him and his barren wife to bear a son.  So God shuts him up.  Literally.  When his tongue is finally loosed, the first thing he does is bless God.
Ah, yes.
It's kind of going in a different direction than where I started,
But with loosed pen, my first response is: I bless you Lord.
Thank you for your promises.  May I never tire of speaking of your unfailing goodness toward me.

Falling In White Water.

I decided this about six months ago.  And I just decided I think it's still true.


Falling in love is like white water rafting.
You scout the run.
Weigh the options. Calculate the consequences if your 'scales' are a bit off.
You can scout a run for hours.  Check things out from every angle, but until you actually get in the river and make the run you won't know what you are getting yourself into.

Falling in love is like white water rafting.
The bigger the hits, the more scared you are.
The bigger the hits, the more fun you have.
When you fall out of your raft, it's hekka crazy.
You have no idea where you are.  You're getting water in your nose and it's real loud.  And there's a good chance you're going to jack your knee on a rock.  Real hard.
Hopefully you find a tow-line and haul yourself back into the boat.  At which point your exhausted, full of river water, and have some wicked bruises.
Maybe this 'swimming' thing wasn't the best idea.
Maybe you should have spent more time weighing.
You can scout a run for hours.  Check things out from every angle, but until you actually get in the river and make the run you won't know what you are getting yourself into.

But the craziest part is that, when your gashes stop bleeding, you regain your bearings, and dry out a little bit, you just want to do it again.  Because all you remember is the rush.
The bigger the hits, the more scared you are.
The bigger the hits, the more fun you have.
You're always a little scared going into it, and that's why you do it.

Falling in love is like white water rafting.
The similarity is a little bit awesome.
But mostly really crappy.
At least you've got some cool scars to show for it, eh?

Oddly Shaped.

Life is sometimes hard to manage.
A large package of unusual difficulty.
Oddly shaped, rather heavy and precariously fragile.
I wrap my arms around it, determined to pick it up.  To carry it well.
And then my arms get tired.
So I have to re-adjust.
A simple shift really.
Except for the aforementioned fact that this parcel doesn’t come with nice handles.  It’s awkward.  And tipsy. Giving my muscles a rest is going to take some figuring.
So I do some figuring.
And thinking.
Really hard thinking.
I shift my arms.  Rest it momentarily on my knees.
Ah, me.  This is difficult.
I ask for assistance.
I look to others also bearing these cumbersome packages.
They must have a suggestion. An idea.
'Over the left shoulder.' 
'Under the left arm.' 
'On my hip.' 
'Twist your wrist and jam your elbow in, just there.'
Soon I'm twisted up like a pretzel, and even more sore than when I began. 
Life is sometimes hard to manage.
A large package of unusual difficulty.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Maybe I just need a parcel that is shaped a little more like a yoke...

Unbelievable.

I know it's just another video.
But.

my GRACE.
my grace is sufficient.
thank you. thank you. thank you.